On Multitasking. Alternate title: why your dinner always sucks.

by Sally Kingston

Studies have shown that multitasking almost always results in crappy work and unhappy people. Every evening, in House Management’s kitchen, our n=1 experiment validates those results. Here is a list of things you asked Management during the three and a half minutes it took to get your dinner on the table tonight:

  1. Can we build a rocket ship, with real wood and screws, right now?
  2. Can we build just a little bit of a rocket ship, with real wood and screws, right now?
  3. Can I paint?
  4. Can I do watercolors?
  5. Can I have some more yogurt?
  6. Can I have some candy?
  7. Did you know Nathaniel doesn’t like ice cream?
  8. Why doesn’t Nathaniel like ice cream?
  9. Do you like ice cream?
  10. Can I go poop?
  11. Will you watch me go poop?
  12. Will you wipe me?
  13. Will you come stand next to me?
  14. Will you snuggle me?
  15. What is that?
  16. Why are you pouring so much wine?
  17. Where are you going?

This list is the primary reason House Management has completely given up on cooking, and prefers meals that only involve heating. I hope you like frozen peas.